By Lizzy Miles
I am continually
amazed at the diversity of conversations that arise from the Death Café events. Each event is unique and the variety stems
from the topics brought up by the participants. While Maria and I call ourselves facilitators, we are more like
hosts that start the conversation.
Where the conversation goes is entirely up to the attendees.
Among the 17
attendees, we had multiple groups of people who came to the event
together. We had three siblings, a
mother and daughter, and multiple sets of friends. People are sometimes surprised when I ask them to sit apart
from their friend or family. The
reason I do this is because the greatest enjoyment of the event comes from
hearing multiple perspectives and sharing one’s own story.
We started out the
evening in small groups. The
intimacy of the small group structure allows for everyone to have a chance to
speak, and it is less intimidating.
As I moved from group to group, I was touched by the openness and
empathy expressed in such a short period of time.
As with every Death
Café, last night we talked about a wide range of topics. There were a lot of questions pondered. Is it normal to think about dying every
day? Which is worse to experience
– the sudden death of a loved one, or watching them suffer for a prolonged
period of time? Is a viewing
necessary? What if I don’t agree
with my family on how a funeral should be put together? How do you define quality of life? Why can’t I chose when I will die? What happens after we die?
There is something
special about the Death Café. It
creates that space to have the conversations that we can’t seem to have
anywhere else. My interest in the
Death Café was sparked from my experience as a hospice worker. I found that wherever I went, once I
mentioned hospice, strangers would immediately share their stories with
me. I realized that these people
needed to share their stories and there really was nowhere safe for them to do
so. There is now.
The beauty of the
Death Café is that it brings people together who want to talk about the “taboo”
topic of death (and all that it entails).
Many of the attendees reported in their surveys that in addition to
telling their own story, they found comfort in hearing the stories of others. The participants who have come to the
Death Café events have a wide variety of backgrounds. The diversity of experiences, beliefs and opinions contributes
to the in-depth discussions that we have.
Many of the
participants intend to return for more Death Café discussions.
There will be
future Death Cafés in Columbus.
Please check back here for updates.
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