Death Cafe
An evening to connect with death
in an informal atmosphere
Death cafe offers a supportive
group environment
to explore feelings and ideas
around
death and dying
Monday the 26th of November
7 pm till 9 pm
In the Wild Food Cafe, 14 Neal’s Yard, Covent Garden, London WC2H
9DP
the evening is hosted by
Anja Saunders, Interfaith minister and group facilitator and Kate
Hambleton, nurse in a London hospice
There is no cost for the evening itself and the Wild Food Cafe will
be opening especially for us so we can enjoy their wonderful drinks
and snacks. Have a look at www.wildfoodcafe.com
to see what a special place this is
for more information see
Kate Hambleton says:
"Recently
I have been thinking about funerals. Not something I had given much
thought, but I have been inspired by a visit Anja and I paid to the City
of London Cemetery and Crematorium after senior cremation officer Allistair
kindly offered to show us around. Allistair himself is a
light-hearted yet serious man who clearly loves his work and, after many years
of working in the cemetery he has an in-depth knowledge encompassing the
history of the place, funerals and the funeral industry. Our
conversations during the visit have made me better appreciate the value of the
funeral ritual in saying goodbye and got me thinking about my own.
"It
really struck me that organizing a funeral could be compared to arranging a
wedding-type event in approximately 7 days while grieving! It is not
surprising that this can seem overwhelming and that many people opt for the
"standard" package offered by the undertakers.
"In
communities where cultural or religious traditions are strong custom can
dictate the funeral arrangements. However, in communities where
traditions have been lost we have the opportunity to find new and creative ways
to say goodbye. Planning the funeral and/ or carrying out the
deceased persons final wishes can be a valuable part of the bereavement process,
in helping us make the transition between the person being there and not being
there. We talked about how this can be grand or simple yet also be unique
to the person who has died. We sheared stories of things that have made
funerals really personal such as coffins covered with glitter and feathers
arriving on horse-drawn carriages accompanied by drummers and of the coffin of
a legendary grandmother eco-warrior arriving on a milk float decorated with
greenery and ivy.
"When I’m gone I want my body to go
back to the earth. I love the idea I saw emblazoned on a piece of
artwork by an artist called Laura that says “From Stardust to Compost and back
again” – that sums up the cycle of life for me. I want to be like
the leaves that decompose back into the ground leaving the soil fertile. The
idea of being filled with fomaldehyde and preserved horrifies me. Then
I heard about the Infinity Death Project http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7rS_d1fiUc
and discovered that becoming compost in an ecologically friendly way is a
scientific possibility! I feel excited that I could be buried in a
suit not dissimilar to a Darth Vader costume and be eaten by decomposing fungi
that are specially bred for that purpose. I hope I’m not the only
one and that it will catch on as a new green funeral practice.
"So I
have written some ideas of what I want and I hope that there will be some
people around to carry them out- it's currently a work in progress and may well
change over time. I can't predict the future and know that when the time
comes things may not happen as I expect. However, having my affairs in
order and communicating my wishes to my family and friends seems like a good
idea. Thinking about death in this way makes me acutely aware of my
humanity, more empathetic towards my fellow humans and determined to continue
making the most of my life.
The Death Cafe is a space for us to think about
death in ways that we might not have before and where we can share our thoughts
and feelings with a diverse group of like-minded others. This Monday
will see the second Death Cafe at the Wild Food Cafe in Covent Garden, from
7-9pm. We will drink Chai, talk about death and Allistair will
also be around to answer questions about funerals. Anja and I hope you
will join us."
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