Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Death In December

Thursday December 6th 2012
Pogo Cafe, Hackney, London 

With Els Merry-Price (pictured)

Yesterday and today FaceBook reminded me of friends' birthdays.

Whilst I don't always send physical cards I do like knowing when people are celebrating (or drowning their sorrows as the number of candles reaches a level that requires a fire extinguisher on hand just in case) and I am constantly perturbed by just how quickly time flies. 

With these two birthdays in particular I stopped to think about time, because these are the first that have passed since I lost both those friends. It's a strange mix of emotions seeing those reminders pop up. Shock at first, because they're names I haven't seen online for some time. Guilt, both for not remembering sooner and for not thinking of them more often. Then an all consuming sadness because they should be here eating cake, dancing, complaining that their birthdays are too close to Christmas... The same things they did each year, every year, but will never do again.

Both of them were young, both of their deaths were a complete shock and both of them are missed every single day by the people left behind. They were two of the most positive, warm, funny and genuinely brilliant people I've ever met, and it's still hard to believe they're gone sometimes. 

My desire to talk about them, to discuss the challenges in dealing with loss and the difficulties inherent in grieving for people who you feel really should still be here are one of the many reasons I got involved in Death Cafe. It's a platform to discuss anything you want, and far from morbid it's been by turn motivational, inspirational, informative and downright funny. I feel better for being able to talk to people about death without being considered strange, or maudlin, and I think that in today's society where death is sanitised to an unhealthy extent it's more important than ever to have somewhere to communicate your ideas, hopes, fears and thoughts without fear of judgement or repercussions. 

Join us for an evening of vegan food and memento mori in a safe, confidential atmosphere as we seek to deprive death of its strangeness and ultimately celebrate life by reminding ourselves that its beauty lies in its transience and fragility.

December 6th 7pm Pogo Cafe

Please RSVP on FaceBook or send me an email to let me know if you plan to attend.

You can read more about the Death Cafe in my previous posts here, who wants to live forever?

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